Short Analysis Project
Writing papers for given
topics in school assignments can sometimes be a difficult task students. They
might not understand exactly what a teacher is looking for in a paper and might
go on to write a paper on that does not quite fulfill the teachers’ assignment.
Thankfully some professors allow drafts of the papers and give responses and
feedbacks to students in order to help guide them revise their papers to draw
it closer to the teacher’s intended goal. In analyzing a data set of four
students written papers with teacher comments and feedback, I have come to the
conclusion that……
In
this data set, students were given an assignment on different topics to write a
paper. The paper the students wrote were all drafts for a finalized one that
would come afterwards. In order to help the students write papers that are well
written and have supported clear to understand, and backed up with supportive
information, teachers wrote both beginning/end comments and side comments to
develop their next drafts. When analyzing the data set I noticed that there
were differences between the beginning/end comments and the side comments the
teachers provided. Specific languages used in the beginning/end comments led me
to believe that the purpose for the comments being at the beginning or the end
is to give a generalized professional feedback of the overall paper which gears
the writer toward a more focused paper and leaves them with a positive feeling.
In data set 1, the teacher starts off with a positive feedback sentence
stating, “Andrea, You’ve set up a solid
framework for instructional materials here.
These are definitely the steps students have to follow.” The teacher
also ends her comments positively by adding, “Essentially, you’ve got the right form here. Now, find a theorist whose work can inform
and enrich it. I’ll be glad to talk
possibilities with you or to work with you on other revisions.” The purpose
of the positive comments at the beginning of the overall feedback is to make
sure that the writer feels good enough to be able to move on to editing the
next draft. If the comments had started off or ended of negatively, the writer
may have felt that he/she was not good enough to write a second paper because,
after all, he/she didn’t write a good first draft. This is where
professionalism comes into play. The teacher made sure to leave the writer
felling good enough to write a second draft.
This
type of positive language use is also utilized in the other data sets. Data set
2 comments in the beginning, “You have a
great start on this, and ends, “Nice
job!” This feedback is at the beginning rather than at the end of the
paper. In data set 3, the feedback begins with, “Good
start on this, Sara! Your interview +
analysis of Robyn's writing gives some inside information about Discourse
patterns fashion-freelance writers need to step into,”
and follows with a list of things to work on. In data set 4, the teachers
beginning and end comments are, “Brian, You’ve
definitely done a lot of research here!, and “Keep that in mind, and you’ll be able to tell where to expand ideas,
and where you can pull back.” The pattern seems to be the same in all of
the data sets which is to begin and/or end the feedback comments positively to
push the students to write their following drafts.
Another feature that keeps the beginning/end comments
professional is that they are written in complete sentences. All four data sets
give a generalized paragraph which sums up all of the feedback in the side
comments. Data set 2 and 3 add a list of things to work on after their
generalized feedback. The sentences mention specific features of the assignment
as well as refer to different parts of the paper that make a broad statement.
Data set 1 where the writer writes about argument writing, the teacher’s
feedback makes references to what was studied earlier and makes suggestions to
pick a theorist based on what was mentioned in the paper. It states, “Those steps, however, don’t seem to be
informed by any particular view of argument… I think your next step here would
be to pick a theorist to inform your view of argument.” Data
set 2 mentions, “You have described your writing process - both what you
do & how you think about it. You hit
the stages and you describe different kinds of writing: general school writing,
research writing, some intimations to creative writing . . . anything else?” Here the teacher makes mention to
some of the types of writing which the student wrote about. The teacher then
gives feedback about the overall assignment listing “Writing a stronger introduction + conclusion (see comments). Developing your points about your process
with more in-depth illustrations +explorations of what those illustrations
show.” The teacher has now given suggestions to make the paper stronger.
Data set 3 and 4 also follow these patterns of mentioning things related to the
general assignment and picking things written in the paper that are just an
overview. From gathering this information about the beginning/end comments,
giving positive, professional feedback, giving sentences that are whole and
complete, referencing the assignment at hand, and dwelling on certain aspects
of the paper in a broad manner, I conclude that the beginning/end comments make
a global statement which gives the writer strategies to improve the draft.
